Sometimes I lay awake at night just looking at you. Do you have any idea how beautiful you are? In a way, I suppose you do.

This bond between us is incredible; it’s a wonder we did not feel it sooner. But we were too busy trying to find ourselves – and too busy trying to show eachother up like little children. Looking back on it, it seems so stupid. It seems like this feeling we have should have been obvious from the very first moment; it should have outshone any amount of brightness. Then again, we were both blinded, after all. You, by a five-year old command, a burdensome life, and an inability to trust, and I, by the pressure to learn and teach, a struggle to find myself, and the belief that I could do it alone.

It hurts me to think of it, your life. What little you’ve told me almost makes me angry – and it would make me furious if I had any temper left. What you don’t tell me tells me so much more. You are so strong, Mara, that it still astonishes me. You’ve risen above what he did to you, what he forced you to believe, and what you thought you were. I know, when we met, you could not have truthfully told me who you were. I know now you can.

Did you ever believe that you were meant to be alone? Did you ever think you would never find love? I have; I did, really – until I found you.

Our love is more amazing because neither of us was looking for it. I think we had both given up by then. I think we had both decided that it was too late. I guess we both had to learn a valuable lesson: it’s never too late.

I know you like I know myself; actually better, I think. You are every part of me, and I know you feel the same. What did I do to deserve this feeling, this love? I must have done something right, somewhere, though I still don’t think I deserve you.

Every time I feel down, you are there. Every time I need you, you respond. I don’t much believe in fate, destiny, or coincidence, but some things are meant to be. Like us.

How do you stand me? Don’t I drive you crazy? All the same, I am so glad you are here, beside me. I can not put this love into words; it is beyond definition.

Everything about you amazes me, mesmerizes me. Just the way you laugh – your smile. Everything about you is so beautiful. Your green eyes are so deep. They tell me so much, even the things you would protect me from. There are no secrets between us.

I love the way you refuse to loose, even when you do. You’re so stubborn, Mara, that you never give up. Do you even know how to quit? I love the way that you know me, and the way you laugh when you catch me looking at you through the darkness. I even love the way you tease me – and I’ll even accept the tickling as gracefully as I can, while I squirm. There’s so much about you that’s not perfect for the universe, but it’s perfect for me. I’ve memorized every detail about you: like how you drink hot chocolate lukewarm – not quite hot, but not quite cold – like how you will suddenly draw me close in the middle of the night, for no reason other than you want to; like how you hate to fold your towels after getting out of the ‘fresher; and how you hate it if your socks are cold. There’s so much about you that I love.

The way you trust me is one of them.

I know you never confided in anyone before me, and it touches me. To know you not only love me, but trust me with your deepest and darkest secrets, the ones you wish you could forget yourself, is a kind of empathy I never thought I’d have. I know you’ve never confessed your nightmares to anyone, never even admitted having them, until now. I know how it hurts you to remember what you were, and even more, to remember what happened to make you so. I thank you for trusting me to share in that, to help you through the pain you’d hidden for so many years.

I thank you for everything, Mara: for loving me, for trusting me, and for letting me be me. And thank you, my love, for being you. Even in your worst moments, I love you more that you can know.